Today is going to be my first post in the genre of ‘thoughts’. Things in life you might not know how to handle them. Things you would write down in a diary or talk about with your best friends. We all experience our ups and downs in life. And although these things can be very personal and you might want to keep it to yourself. I thought why not share our experiences?
Dealing with a break up can be one of the most painful things to go through. We all have been there. For me it can literary feel like my heart is broken. Even when a break up is mutual, there is always one person who has a more difficult time then the other. And if the break up is not mutual, there is the other person left with so much pain en grieve. When I was younger I would torture myself with the thoughts of ‘us’. Going through photo’s and listen to every sad song in the world.
I do feel that I can deal with a break up much better now that I am older. Ten years ago I would be a complete wreck. But now I can weigh out the good and the bad much better. I can see things more clearly and realistic. When I was younger I would have easily lost myself in the feeling of not being able to live without the other person. Which sounds sooo dramatic.
But that still doesn’t mean that I won’t have a bad moment or even a bad day when I feel absolutely blue. And when that happens I just take some me time to break down and cry and feel sorry for myself. It’s impossible to stay strong all the time when you’ve in fact lost a buddy in your life. Especially when it was a bad break up. You’re entitled to feel sad and angry at the same time.
There are a couple of things that worked for me when having to deal with a break up. Hopefully it might make things a little bit easier for you going through this difficult time.
1\ Work your ass off! For me it really helped to stay busy. Whether it was working or cleaning the house. If I would be bored. I would start thinking and thinking would lead to missing. Working and keeping busy kept my mind of the other person (most of the time).
2\Don’t watch any romantic movies or listen to any romantic songs. If you’re a bit like me. You’ll start to listen to the lyrics and the lyrics will make you sad. These elements will only be fuel for your grieve. So best thing is just to skip them for a while. I would only listen to any fierce ‘I am independent’ happy songs or just have Bey’s Irreplaceable on repeat 😉
3\ Social media is so much fun and I am obsessed with Facebook and Instagram. But if you’re only going to cyber stalk your ex boyfriend, unfriend him from all your social media. Your just going to end up torturing yourself and this will not benefit in any way. Once the sky is clear and there are no feelings involved you can be friends again.
4\Get rid of all things that remind you of your time together. This doesn’t mean that you have to drastically burn the clothes he left at your house or erase all of your pictures together. But at least keep them in a spot where you won’t have to look at it. It will probably take some time before you can look at a picture without feelings sad.
5\ Go out! Enjoy the perks of being single again. Go clubbing with your friends. Go shopping. Go on a holiday or a long weekend away (if possible). Do fun stuff and remind yourself that you are a lovely person who deserves to be happy. It sounds so silly and cliche but it is the truth, right? But be careful with too much wine or cocktails. The hangover the day after can make you feel really lonely and blue which might cause you to grab the phone and call him.
So these are my tiny remedies on how to deal with a break up. How did you deal with a break up? I would love to hear your story.